Excerpt from Chapter 5

This excerpt introduces Janey's boyfriend Brian who is a member of the Armed Forces and away on a tour of duty. They write to each other weekly and by this point in the book, Janey's emotional well being is showing signs of being hard wired into the content of Brian's letters.

Hi hon,
your last letter arrived and has caused mixed emotions! Everything is so fucked up here at the moment, I'm not sure if you know Chalky White he's a new boy not been with us long.

Anyway he got a dear John letter from his wife, they've not been married long, the poor kid took it badly especially when he found out that she'd been sleeping with his brother. How could he do that to Chalky, his own brother and why the fuck did she write and tell him?

Makes no sense, anyway the upshot of it was after a couple of beers he tried to blow his own brains out but had the rifle turned to automatic instead of single fire and took three other guys with him!

So I guess I'm feeling guilty that I have you at home waiting for me in nothing but a cowboy hat and four of my mates are in hospital, one of which will probably never walk again! The guilt did wane slightly when you said you had a list of jobs for me to do and I was half tempted to say 'why not get a man in, you could ask my brother' but perhaps not.

Spike never found a file in the cake but his Maddy probably sent the cake in a file, Mad by name Mad by nature! As for your remarks about the batteries, Fletch is the Battery Sergeant Major and in the 30 years he's been in the mob he's never had any problems with his wife, perhaps there's something in that?

Thanks for the pic hon, I've had to commit that to memory and eat it (still no cake yet!) in case it gets into enemy or friendly hand for that matter!
Hows the diet going? You still hanging out with your new mates?
Be good and take care darling!!
Love you Brian xxx
PS please send me some CAKE!!


Brian my darling,
I am worried about you…
I don’t remember you mentioning Chalky White and can find no mention of him in your last few letters so he must be very new. What completely horrible experience for him and you all to go through.

I can not imagine how desolate he must have felt to believe that suicide was his only option. Doesn’t the MOD have counselling services? It would seem sensible considering what you all go through during a tour of duty! I would expect there to be a huge demand for this sort of thing.

I can not stop thinking how lucky I am that you were not caught by one of his bullets… which seems a silly thing to think when your life is at risk on a daily basis. Still it never occurred to me that you could be at risk from ‘friendly’ fire, if that makes any sense?

Don’t waste your time feeling guilty about me being here with only my battery operated friends to amuse me in your absence. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to come home again, at least if I am waiting I know that you will be coming home at some point and that, at the end of the day, helps me sleep at night.

All of the chores I’ve put on your list can wait until you return which is a good thing as it would have been hard for me to ask the brother you don’t have to come round and do them for you!

I am still spending time with the other girls I met at the diet club. We’ve formed our own group now and are calling ourselves ‘The Plump WAG’s Club’! The next meeting is this week, so I wont weigh myself till the day of the meeting and don’t actually know if I’ve lost anything. I’ve been trying to exercise at least 3 times a week so hopefully some of my excess lard will have shifted in the right direction!

I am sending you a copy of the pic of us at the Marine Museum in Portsmouth. Remember that trip? I remember jumping out of my skin when the cannon went off, I thought you were going to start wheezing you laughed so long! I also remember you taking me into your arms for the longest, sweetest hug ever when we were walking along the beach after supper that night.

What wonderful memories… Hope you enjoy the other goodies I put in the parcel, I was going to make you some popcorn but worried it might go stale so I’ve put in some crisps instead. I also tried my hand at making flapjacks, let me know what you think!
I love you with every beat of my heart xoxo